At this point I feel like it’s totally plausible that the real reason he’s fighting so hard to keep the Epstein files locked away is not because they implicate him in the sex trafficking of underaged children but rather they reveal that he engaged in gay sex with his now political rivals.

MAGA: We’ve got historical disapproval numbers, people are fleeing our party, we just faced a Blue tsunami the likes of which haven’t been seen in a generation, and we’re in the midst of a crisis with no end in sight for which the majority of Americans blame us for.

Senate Dems: Hold my beer.