Alternatively, leopards and faces.

It kinda sounds like you’re doing your best to just live your life and that’s what they are so intrusive over. Sounds more like they want you to force yourself to suffer for religion as they have and it pisses them off that you’re doing you (figuratively and literally). I’d guess they are very sexually repressed.

Republicans are well known for their adherence to directly conflicting concepts.

Especially the ones that get caught.