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Your specific situation you will have to handle yourself (with a help of therapist and / or friends of course).

However I read a quote from therapist who also happened to be a father. It goes something like that:

It is impossible to not hurt and scar your children. Parents are only humans. And parenting is really really really hard. We crack some times. (Note some parents hurt and scar their kids way worse than the others. Also some parents are worse at being parents and some are just evil, etc…)

A kid is grown up at the time they learn to forgive their parents for their mistakes.

(Or even make peace with abuses if it was really bad)

As a parent or a person you cannot stop making mistakes. The only thing you can do is to apologize. It seems to me your mom did that. The rest is on you - to forgive her for this mistake. (There might be something deeper going on in your family - I am replying with the context I have)

If you need someone to talk to, you can DM me. However I will be replying when I have time ~ once a day.

I believe there is lots of important knowledge about morality etc. embedded inside religious books. This is why is is worth reading those. Also there is lots of shitty and immoral stuff i try to ignore. Why would I try to implement those.

The other important stuff is active community. A single person can only do so much good. But if you are doing good as a whole local community you can do project far bigger than you could pull off yourself.

So it was easy to decide to keep the religion I was raised in. This is the biggest religion with biggest community.

This is about my religious framework and why I have it. However I distinct between my religion and my personal believes. Personally I am ignostic (with I), so I think we almost never use the same definitions for God, Being, to believe, to exist,… I even hold an opinion, by what most atheists define what God is, most grown up Christians are atheists. And the other way around. I think we hold pretty similar believes but we use different meaning for same words.