Toilet paper making is an ART! No other industry manages to create a half-ply so transparent that you can read your newspaper through it, while still delivering the tactile experience of an 80 grid industrial sandpaper.
Laughs in Bidet with heated set, water, and air dryer. We don’t need no stinking toilet paper math…
As a bidet owner, that’s not fully true. I use significantly less toilet paper, but not zero.
Sometimes the dyer doesnt hit everything. Or I have to wipe the seat.
Best part is when you go to different store and they got from per sheet to square foot or some nonsense.
I switched to Bamboo toilet paper. Renewable, saves old growth trees, and when bought in bulk online is as cheap as Walmart.
Almost all paper comes from byproducts if the lumber industry or recycled. Its the processes of papermaking that have huge impacts to the environment.
Is this unshittification?
That’s usually what I use my toilet paper for
Given the information here, I believe that:
1 Giant Roll = 2.25+ Rolls = 2250+ Sheets
1 Double Roll = 2 Rolls = 2000 Sheets
1 Super Mega Roll = 6 Rolls = 6000 Sheets
1000 Sheets = 1 Roll = 0.5 Double Roll = 0.444 Giant Roll = 0.166 Super Mega Roll
1 Super Mega Roll = 2.666 Giant Roll = 3 Double Roll = 6 Roll = 6000 Sheets
I can take 6000 shits with one super mega roll?! WOW!
Yes , if you use exactly 1 square each time.
But someone so enterprising and smart like you probably uses both sides, so 12,000 shits per roll is on the table.
I use a bidet, btw.
I used to run a bidet system, but then I found out about xylospongium:

It’s got slightly different architecture than bidet, and you have to manually compile some of the features that bidetinstall handles automatically, but you gain so much more control over your system. Never going back.
yknow what’s great? unit pricing laws
tldr: in australia businesses must display “unit price” on labels: price per 100g, per 100ml, per sheet, etc for every product so that packages are comparable
We have this in the US for most things too, at least in Ohio where I’m from, not sure about other states or if it’s a federal thing. I’m not an expert on the law of it, but I can’t think off the top of my head anything that doesn’t have it.
I believe paper towels and TP are $ per square foot or smth like that
The thing with toilet rolls though, is they show price per roll, but the rolls themselves have different amounts of sheets. So you gotta do the extra math.
Unless in your country they show price per sheet? Which I would assume would be below one cent.
yup they show price per sheet by law
In Sweden I see price per kg for toilet paper. Which I guess can help you guesstimate, if you always look for 3 layers for example…?
I use unit pricing every time I shop. I am so thankful the accc made it required.
ditto! i’d probably do it in my head for a lot of things still because metric is easy, but it saves me so much time and i’m sure i’m an outlier
Has anyone ever tried to call Greg at 1-667-693-5420 ?
What happened?
I wonder if buying dietary fiber is ACTUALLY worth the money saved in TP.
Buying cheap iron supplements costs less. The constipation will make everything as hard as, well passing iron.
Bidet with a blow dryer.
Does the blow dryer actually work?
Because I imagine it would work about as well as the blow dryer for your hands. You just give up and wipe your damp hands on your pants/shirt.
Also you’re already down to like 2 wipes at most with a bidet. How much are you really saving to get your ass stank blown everywhere. No idea how it works. Just imagining a Dyson but in your toilet
It doesn’t get as wet as when washing your hands so it dries quicker 🤷♂️
It’s gonna feel wet from sweat 2 minutes after I leave the bathroom anyway.
The one that lists sheets is at least using a verifiable metric. It’s better than the “right rolls of unspecified size are more than 39 different rolls of unspecified size”.
Still silly because no one knows how many sheets they use before changing the roll, but at least it’s reasonable silly.
The label usually says total surface area in the package. The stores near me break the price down to cost per unit of area, as well. This really untangles the 'how much should I pay for a quadrahedroll vs a dodecca butt sphere" worth of paper?
Username checks out!
Isn’t it the same problem tho, since they can make the sheets smaller and say there’s more without actually offering a longer roll?
Oh, totally. It’s by no means a good measurement, it’s just the only one that’s in some way tied to anything tangible. “8=39” doesn’t mean anything.
We need legally defined toilet paper roll standards.
Lets setup some ISO standards for shit wipers.
Helps that they tend to be square-ish, there’s a subsection of people who would notice immediately if you can’t fold perfect paper cranes from a single sheet while you’re pooping.
pretty sure they are rectangles
Which matters more total kg or mm2 ?
Kg for sure, i wouldn’t trust tp with a low cost per mm²
I also don’t trust a toilet paper with a low gsm.
Maybe we need both a gsm and total weight labeling.
https://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/27/magazine/why-do-americans-stink-at-math.html
One of the most vivid arithmetic failings displayed by Americans occurred in the early 1980s, when the A&W restaurant chain released a new hamburger to rival the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder. With a third-pound of beef, the A&W burger had more meat than the Quarter Pounder; in taste tests, customers preferred A&W’s burger. And it was less expensive. A lavish A&W television and radio marketing campaign cited these benefits. Yet instead of leaping at the great value, customers snubbed it.
Only when the company held customer focus groups did it become clear why. The Third Pounder presented the American public with a test in fractions. And we failed. Misunderstanding the value of one-third, customers believed they were being overcharged. Why, they asked the researchers, should they pay the same amount for a third of a pound of meat as they did for a quarter-pound of meat at McDonald’s. The “4” in “¼,” larger than the “3” in “⅓,” led them astray.
America: Failing 2nd grade math since the 1980s.
Should have called it the 2/6 pounder.
No one goes to A&W for their burgers, especially in the 80’s. Hot dogs and root beer.
… Which is greater, 1/3, or 1/4?
Duh, obviously it’s the one that makes me look stupid. Foot long hotdog is my answer.
Ok, boomer.
In fairness, the people they surveyed grew up breathing lead. I wonder if a modern audience would handle that test better
Nope. Failure rate would be the same.
I would think worse actually, fairly sure our literacy and numeracy scores are worse now than in the 80s.
Ah, ok, they peaked in 2012, been declining since, almost back down to 70s/80s levels.

This graoh only goes to 2022… and other sources have those scores continuing to fall.
And we also have TikTok destroying everyone’s attention spans and capacity to self regulate today.
The modern consumer would understand the a&w restaurant is probably run much more city than the McDonald’s restaurant unfortunately. It’s always interesting to me when I go to the McDonald’s near my house that shares a parking lot with KFC / a&w and unfortunately that a&w and KFC restaurant is literally one of the worst run restaurants in my area. Only rivaled by the Wendy’s three blocks away. Where is that McDonald’s the worst they’ve done is late night they’re shake machine and ice cream machine always seems to be broken and they get my order wrong probably one out of every five times. But not blatantly wrong every single order.
The modern consumer would understand the a&w restaurant is probably run much more city than the McDonald’s restaurant unfortunately.
… What does ‘run much more city’ mean?
Were you trying to type ‘shittily’?
It’s super expensive too. There are handmade papers from Japan that are less expensive than your average toilet paper.
By volume??? Where are you buying it? Also what’re you eating? Chipotle 24/7?
I have a bidet and my toilet paper budget is literally 1 big Costco size pack per year at ~ $20. I could cut so many expenses before that is a problem spend.
Get it from the grocery store. It’s like $3.50 a square foot or something. Seattle, so it’s expensive. Also, costco toilet paper sucks and no bidet.
The hell it is.
A 24-pack of Charmin ultra strong is 785 square feet. It cost 50 bucks.
That’s 6¢ per square foot.
Go by weight. If you have two bundles that have the same number of rolls, the heavier one either has more or thicker squares.
And if they add lead or something else heavy to the packaging? Ha! Checkmate!
Yeah be careful they be cutting the toilet paper with fent out there. Stay safe.
This is such bullshit. Pointless manipulation of product offerings to hide the true cost, and thereby manipulate prices. I’ve been doing paper towel math like this for years and it drives me nuts. Grocery stores’ profit model is now almost entirely based on price manipulation and nothing else.












