• QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works
    3·
    12 days ago

    Mine got chopped off 9 years ago.

    Well inverted and made into a vagina, but the former is how most people seem to think it works.

    Do not miss the penis

    • MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
      2·
      14 days ago

      You apparently have no idea the dick’s talent for aiming for the crack between the seat and rim, no matter how you go about “tucking” it downwards to try to prevent just that. Even sitting, leaning so far forward your hands are on the floor, is no guarantee.

      • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexusEnglish
        1·
        14 days ago

        I agree that this can happen, but at least its pretty rare. Standing while peeing however makes a mess in a radius around the toilet every time. I mean, when you live alone and have no guests ever then this might not be an issue, but in every other case it’s pretty nasty.

        • MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
          1·
          13 days ago

          Back when I could consistently roll my foreskin back, aiming from standing was the cleaner option. I have no idea what animals you’ve lived with that couldn’t get their pee in the bowl consistently, but I’m sorry, I guess?

          • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexusEnglish
            1·
            12 days ago

            I’m a man, and i tell you that even if you aim perfectly with rolled back foreskin, the splashback when the stream hits the ceramic creates a radius around the bowl where small droplets land. Either someone else cleaned the floors back then when your foreskin was youthful, or noone cleaned them.

        • falseWhite@lemmy.world
          1·
          14 days ago

          So the options are: pee sitting down and always have clean the inside of the toilet. Or pee standing up, and sometimes clean what you missed

            • falseWhite@lemmy.world
              1·
              14 days ago

              Yes, like weekly. But I pee at least 3 times a day, and would have to clean it after every use. No?

              I pee on the inside, it gets dirty. Next time I want to pee I need to clean it again, or clean it immediately after I pissed.

  • Asidonhopo@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    14 days ago

    I’ll pee sitting down sometimes in my own home but peeing sitting down with a penis in a public restroom is gross. Regardless of whether your dick aims at the water or the side of the bowl that’s a lot of fine spray of toilet microbiota landing on your junk and undercarriage. Better to just piss everywhere all over the seat and stay pure

  • bus_factor@lemmy.world
    1·
    14 days ago

    Anon needs to add “pee” between the fapping and sleeping in his bedtime routine, and the leftover spunk won’t be around to do that.

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
    1·
    14 days ago

    So there’s this really cool trick:

    1. Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.

    2. Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-

    3. Lower your entire pants to the floor.

    Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but

    1. Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).

    2. Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.

    3. Separate your thighs such that you can

    4. Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.

    5. Proceed to urinate.

    6. Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.

    This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.

    Hope this helps!

      • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
        1·
        14 days ago

        OK you have a point that I will only grant because I’m so used to finding the lid left up despite my best efforts but you are correct.

        • snoons@lemmy.caEnglish
          1·
          14 days ago

          I keep all my bathroom stuff in my room because none of the people I’ve ever lived with have thought it worth their time to put down the lid when they flush.

  • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.caEnglish
    1·
    13 days ago

    wait until this guy sits down to pee without paying attention to how things are hanging and feels it running down his calves

    ask me how I know

      • birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        2·
        6 days ago

        negative brain: just stand and accept fate’s golden stream pouring down your leg
        small brain: pull skin and aim
        normal brain: pee sitting down so you don’t piss yourself
        big brain: also watch how it’s hanging
        megabrain: cut off balls so you can see better how to aim
        gigabrain: all out bottom surgery just so you can pee in peace

      • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.caEnglish
        1·
        12 days ago

        I’ve sat down to relieve myself in the middle of the night while sick and half asleep and felt a strong warmth down the back of my legs because I pissed on myself through the gap under the toilet seat

        I ain’t afraid to admit it

  • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
    1·
    12 days ago

    With great power comes great responsibility. The ability to control comes with the burden of having to exert that control

      • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.caEnglish
        1·
        13 days ago

        see, you and I (sane, logical people), say no arguing - but I’ve seen people argue against just always putting the lid down. I don’t understand it. but they do it.

  • Problem-based person@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    0·
    14 days ago

    So this happens because the urethra loses moisture and welds shut, then pee chooses the least-resistance path. If you can’t pee sitting ('cause it’s easier), one trick is to clamp your dick and push to pee, then release. The pressure will open the urethra wide and a beautiful, directed stream of piss will come out. Also, pull your foreskin back when peeing and clean afterwards with a dab of toilet paper. Fellating persons will thank you!