For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I’ve never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It’s sentimental.
I don’t like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It’s perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don’t like new things.
We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?
We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I’m not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don’t like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?
I’m going to go a different route with advice.
Once this all gets worked out, it might be worth considering a new rule with gifts: don’t gift things, gift experiences. Or alternatively, don’t gift permanent things, gift consumables.
If you gift someone a tool, appliance, dress, etc. then they will need to find space to store it, even if they don’t like it. But if you get them a bottle of wine, or a dinner, or a trip to the Bahamas, then if they don’t like it it won’t be there forever and they’ll likely have a nice story.
But that might not work with your relationship and I have no way of knowing. Just pitching the idea in case it’s a good fit for you