For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I’ve never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It’s sentimental.
I don’t like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It’s perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don’t like new things.
We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?
We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I’m not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don’t like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?
I have a pretty firm “just don’t get me any presents” rule. It’s taken some time to gain compliance with this rule. Similar to the shirt rule, I assume you gave some of those presents before being asked not to? Try the exact same approach that was used on you. Then you might have to reiterate it every once in a while.
But OP doesn’t have that rule, because OP clearly loves both the 3D printer (gift from spouse) and whatever old dented thing is being replaced (gift from mother in law).
OP can’t pivot to a “no gifts” rule when prior gifts have been well received and did enrich OP’s life.
I’d certainly argue he can pivot. He just can’t expect adherence prior to voicing that opinion. I’d also mention that despite my personal “no gifts” rule, I’ve received gifts that were spectacular. With the rule in place it seems to force people to actually put thought into the gift rather than just trying to get somewhat close to my current interests and hobbies.
My husband and I told family what we wanted for occasions was a gift in our name to charity X. We picked one each year that takes online donations and sends cards “Person donated to us in your name!” They went along the first two years, they didn’t donate the third year, and my husband and I stopped announcing charities after that and we all went along happily without gifting.