IMO anon’s statement about body count was badly phrased, but it makes sense for me under limited circumstances.
For the last few decades, my opinion has held firm on a simple philosophy:
If I never ask out a woman I’m interested in, and they date guy after guy, then I have nothing to complain about. They never knew about my interest, and so they were never given the chance to accept or reject my interest. There is no way in hell that I could hold their body count against them, and I have only myself to blame for not stepping up and asking them out when I had the chance.
But if I do ask a woman out, and they clearly and immediately reject me in favour of someone else, then I am obviously not an interest for them. They have clearly and unambiguously rejected me, so what standing do I have to not believe that? You can’t get a more sure sign. If they then rack up other relationships, each and every one of those is another nail in the coffin of any potential relationship. They have made an explicit statement that I am of far less desirability than other options, and that door closes permanently, and gets barred and locked for good measure.
Because if she comes sniffing around again, then it is screamingly obvious that I am not her second-best, third-best, or even n^th best option… I am her backup-backup-backup plan that she is “settling for” because all of her better options ran out.
And at that point… thanks but no thanks. That’s a path down which I have absolutely no desire to trod, because down that path lies doubt and second-guessing that can only poison me, my mental health, and my happiness. If she had no interest in me when I asked, then I will absolutely trust her for having told me the complete truth, and I will hold that truth as unchanging, unimpeachable gospel.
“She fucked so many guys”
Uh…okay?
I think they’re trying to say that he doesn’t even feel like her backup, he’s her backup x times removed. Which kinda undercuts his point a bit, but does set the stage for a complete removal of attraction and the very particular manic ending they wrote for their story
There’s something insulting about being the one she wants to settle down with after a bunch of flings etc.
When’s my turn to have fun?
Who was stopping you?
Nobody wanted to have fun with me.
Fake: anon has a female friend
Gay: anon isn’t interested in her
Anon is valid to feel this way. Without condoning or condemning, I understand.
I honestly think it’s embarrassing and childish to get upset at somebody and immediately go, “Yeah well you fucked so many men!”
That’s in your head. Seems like you can’t see a reality where the girl is at fault. Misandrist much?
I don’t think I can blame Anon. “Should we try it out?” isn’t exactly stirring my passions, either.
Under the circumstances, it sounds like “you’re my least terrible option left, so maybe I can settle for you. On a trial basis, of course.” Uh, no thanks.
Bold of you to think anons story is real and straight
It’s more fun to play along, and unless I’m missing something, I kept it gender neutral.
Anon is on the internet. No girls there.
Anon had a girl interested in fucking him: fake.
Anon turned down a girl that wanted to fuck him: gay.
If by “straight” you mean heterosexual and you’re doubting the story is heterosexual, read it again. There are pronouns in there. This is a heterosexual story.
Turns out, being rejected by someone you’re in love with actually sucks, and that goes double if you were friends with them. Sure you can try and stay friends with them after, but whether that works depends a lot on your state of mind/mental health, the rest of your social circle and the state of your life in general (and on how the rejecter/friend acts, of course). Your average 4chan poster is spectacularly ill-equipped to make it actually work well, even if they somehow aren’t somewhat misogynistic.
At the same time, just keeping it to yourself is probably not a good option either, if you’re not the type who can actually move on after a while (e.g. by crushing on someone else).
Yeah I super get this. Back at the height of the whole “friend zone” thing I had been hanging out with a friend one on one very regularly and began crushing on her, asked her out at some point, she said she needed to focus on other things. A semester or two later, I asked if that had changed due to different circumstances in her life and she gave me a more direct no. She was pretty integrated into my friend group and my feelings were pretty badly hurt because we had been very close. Friends in that group would go on to ask why I’d never asked her out, under the assumption she was interested, and when I did eventually start dating someone else she tried to “talk me up” to that girl in a way that felt like sabotage to me. It’s hard to balance those feelings while remaining friends with someone. I was definitely at risk for falling down an incel hole around that time. Glad I didn’t
“She fucked too many guys”
Waaaaaahhh oh no my partner is good at sex, oh woe is me.
I’ve never slept with anyone with a single digit body count that wasn’t fucking awful in the sack.
My wife was a huge slut. She’s great at sex. Sex is fun!
